I've been thinking a lot lately about how much impact parents have on their children. That led me to begin pondering the evolution of children's thoughts towards their parents. Bear in mind, I'm not subject matter expert, I just have Random Thoughts that I sometimes like to explore.
When I was young, after the dreams of being an astronaut had subsided, I wanted to be like my dad. A couple years ago, my brother and I were cleaning out our old bedroom and I ran across a poster we used to keep on our wall. On the back I had written, "When I grow up, I want to be a Gunnery Sergeant in the Marine Corps Reserve and an electrician for the railroad." You may not find it surprising that my dad was an electrician for the railroad and a Gunnery Sergeant in the Marine Corps Reserve. I must have been no more than eight or nine years old when I wrote that--or so my handwriting led me to believe--and my dad was everything to me.
Within a few short years, I had become a teenager. How my views had changed! From being exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up, to being the last person in the world I wanted to be like, my dad had somehow changed before my very eyes. Electrician was no longer good enough for me, and there was no way I was going to be an "enlisted man". I had my sights set on getting a college degree and being a Marine Corps officer so I could fly Harriers. I had no way of knowing then I would become neither of those things, nor that my dad's Marine Corps experiences would provide me with a very unrelated path in much later years.
By the time I reached college, I was even less interested in being like my dad. My teenage years had been tumultuous and stereotypically rebellion-filled. Most of that rebellion was aimed at my dad. No, as college began, I was beginning to see my mom in a different light. Maybe it was because I missed the nurturing and the relationship I'd never really recognized. Mom had been my Cub Scout Den Leader until Webelos. She'd been responsible for much of the transportation, feeding, caring, and general hubbub management during my young years. My mom had also immigrated to the US, and I began to relate more to her Latin culture and heritage as college progressed.
A couple years before graduating, I had my first child. Paying respects to Mom's culture, we tried to teach him Spanish as a baby. I became more involved in groups and clubs with Hispanic affinity. I celebrated my differences; differences that had always been downplayed or ignored in favor of assimilation and conformation. I began to appreciate more the richness and warmth that were inherent in my mom's relationship with me.
One might think from the timbre of this blog, that the thought evolution I'm heading towards is one where we migrate from one parent to the other. In reality, I'm exploring the depth to which we evolve into a combination of our parents (assuming we were fortunate enough to have a combination).
Speaking only for myself, I can identify many behaviors, traits, likes or dislikes that are directly attributable to both of my parents. I am devoted to my spouse and my kids on many, many levels--that's mom (not that dad isn't, it's just different). I become consumed with different subject matter at different times, and completely immerse myself in learning it--that's dad. I love a great flower garden--mom. I really enjoy my vegetable garden--dad. I love to fish--mom; hunt--dad. I love to cook--mom; fiddle with computers--dad. Leatherwork (www.BillsWorldLeathercrafts.com), BBQ Sauce (www.GrampaBillsBBQ.com), build--dad. Volunteer with Scouts, volunteer at school, read the Sunday paper--mom. Love food, travel, other cultures--both.
In many ways, I'd have to say the person I've become, what I do, activities I'm involved in--it's all attributable to my parents and the impact they've had on me. Some might say they are "Daddy's Boy" or "Momma's Boy", but me? I'm Mom and Dad's Son.
